The Rabbit That Attacked the Tomatoes
by Shes Uhh Miistake
Summary: There's a rabbit in the backyard and Kenshin and Sano have to scare it away. What can happen with two people and a rabbit? (It's not as stupid as you think it is!) R+R!
1. Harmful Usagi?

Hey people! This is my first RK fic, so tell me what ya think, K? It's supposed be funny, it's based on what my cousin and I did a couple of days ago.  
  
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Kenshin and Sano were practicing sword fighting outside, amusing the little ones. That was when one of the spotted an usagi (a rabbit). "Usagi!" the young one cried jumping up. He ran after the usagi, and the other boglins (children in British) ran after him. "Usagi!" they all cried. The usagi was headed to other yard behind the house. That was when Kenshin and Sano ceased immediately. "Miss Kaoru!" Kenshin called. "I think Little Usagi's here to attack the tomatoes again!" "Can you scare it out for me?" Miss Kaoru called back. "I'm a wee bit busy!"  
Kenshin bravely began to walk toward the other yard, but then he remembered Dr. Barrett- the doctor who had told him most wild rabbits carry around rabies. Kenshin gulped at the thought of getting rabies. "Pull yourself together, mate!" a voice said in his head. "You're a sword fighter! If you can defeat people with a sword, you can most definitely scare a rabbit away from eating tomatoes!" "Um, Sano?" Kenshin called. "What?" Sano called back. "Can you come with me?" Kenshin asked. "I just thought of what Dr. Barrett had said about rabies." "Gladly," Sano said grabbing a wooden stick.  
  
When they approached, Little Usagi was nowhere in sight. They searched for a long time and then Kenshin finally spotted him. "There he is," Kenshin said. Sano walked up to Kenshin and looked at Little Usagi. "So, uh, what do we do?" Sano asked. "At 3, we charge," Kenshin answered. "One. two. three. CHARGE!"  
  
They began to run toward Little Usagi and Little Usagi began to run. But then, it stopped. And then it turned around and looked directly at Sano and Kenshin. "What's it gonna do?" Sano asked. Little Usagi took a small hop. "Let's move back," Kenshin said unsurely. "That way, we have a less of a chance to get rabies." They moved back a few feet and held up their wooden sticks, ready to whack the bunny. (But those weren't Miss Kaoru's orders--- she said scare it, not kill it!) Little Usagi began to hop toward them, about two inches at a time. "It's coming," Kenshin whispered. "Stay ready." Little Usagi approached them, about a foot away. "AAAARRGGGHHHH!" Kenshin and Sano screamed, dropping their wooden sticks and running inside.  
They peeked out the window and Sano made a face at Little Usagi. Then the rabbit began to speak. "Bloody cowards!" Little Usagi said with a laugh. "You are such chickens, you can stand up to Hitler himself, I bet, but you can never stand up to me! Muahahahahahaha!" Little Usagi happily hopped toward the tomatoes. Kenshin opened the door and called to Little Usagi, "This is not over yet, blasted usagi! I am Benshin the Katousai- I mean Kenshin the Batousai and no one defeats me!"  
  
"Who are you yelling at, Kenshin," Yahiko asked. "Oh, um, well." Kenshin didn't know what to say. "So, did you scare it?" Miss Kaoru asked. "Well, no," Sano answered. "You mean I've been wasting precious time planting those things for a whole lotta nothing!?" "I guess," Kenshin said with a slight giggle. "Go buy some seeds from the store- right now!" Miss Kaoru ordered them. "Okay sure," Sano said, holding his hand out. "What are you doing?" Miss Kaoru asked. "If we're gonna buy tomatoes, we're gonna need money," Sano answered. "Oh no, sir," Miss Kaoru said. "You're using your own money." "But, but-" Sano began. "I've got my own 'but' and I don't need your," Miss Kaoru answered coolly. "I already spent my monthly savings," Sano said sadly. "Bothered," Miss Kaoru said. "What's that supposed to mean?" Kenshin asked. "It means 'as if I care'," Miss Kaoru answered smartly. "I'll go buy the tomato seeds," Kenshin said. "but Sano has to do the other job- whatever it is." "Fine," Sano said.  
Kenshin began to walk toward the door. "So what's my job?" Sano asked. "You can plant them," Miss Kaoru said. "No fair!" Sano said. "That's the harder job!" "It should be easier for you," Miss Kaoru answered. "Kenshin's almost thirty and you're nearly twenty." Sano groaned.  
He looked out the window and there he saw Little Usagi, lying on his back and pigging put on all the ripe tomatoes.  
  
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What'd ya think? If ya'll want, I can make another chapter-it's up to you! Make sure you review! l l l l l V 


	2. A New Heroine

It's me again! ^-^Some stuff may not make sense... I'm listening to S Club's 'Love Ain't Gonna Wait For You' and I'm sorta singing my head off to that song! (I just lurve that song!) I decided to add another chappie 'coz my couz and I had another encounter with The Rabbit and it did more than attack the tomatoes this time- it turned our good day into a bad one!  
  
Rain was pouring into the town of Tokyo (it was rainin' cats n' dawgs!) and nearly everyone in the city was outside getting wet. Everyone- from children to old people (I didn't have to say 'old people'- I just felt like making this a wee bit modern!) were enjoying- all except for our hero Kenshin Himura. Of course he was getting wet, but standing as if he were petrified. (What a shame... I celebrate everytime I get wet- excluding showers!)  
"C'mon, Kenshin!" Yahiko called. "Loosen up a bit! How often does it pour down here?" "In my opinion," Kenshin answered. "Rain is there to wet PLANTS, not us HUMANS." "You are so totally boring!" I said. "And who are you?" Kenshin asked. "Really," I said. "Who am I?" He stared at me for a moment and then asked, "Why are you wearing such odd clothes?" "Man," I said. "These aren't odd! These are what everyone wears! I think YOUR clothes are odd- hel-lo! This is the twenty-first century your supposed to be wearing baggy pants and some type of T-shirt say 'Yo!' " I looked around and realized I was totally in the wrong place. "Did you know you're on TV?" I asked Kenshin. Before Kenshin could answer, I said, "Ogachobee." and a door appeared. I opened the door and left this story. "Ciao!"  
"Who was that?" Sano asked, walking toward Kenshin. "I haven't the slightest idea," Kenshin answered. "But she is very weird and she used words like 'yo' and 'ciao'." "Kids these days..." Sano said shaking his head. "They are so weird." Just then, a big puddle of water was dumped onto Kenshin. Kaoru and Yahiko laughed. "Kenshin you looked so funny!" Yahiko said with a giggle. "It just proves you can't scream!" "Can too!" Kenshin argued. "Cannot!" Yahiko argued back. Kenshin and Yahiko went arguing for minutes about if Kenshin can scream or not.  
The rain began to slow down and slowly everyone went inside. Kenshin and Sano came back outside to let their clothes dry (the rain was VERY, VERY slow) but something caught their eye: Little Usagi. "He returns!" Kenshin cried, dropping his wet clothes on the ground. Kenshin and Sano back away and then Kenshin remembered his sword. "Haha!" Kenshin said pulling his sword out. "I've got a sword, L.U.! and I'm not afraid to use it!" L.U. (Little Usagi) stared straight at Kenshin and then at Sano and then jumped forward toward Kenshin and Sano.  
"AAAAARRRGGGGHHH!" "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" "DON'T EAT THE TOMATOES!" "IT'S GOT RABIES!" "AW MAN! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" "HELP US!" The yard was full of those screams and then Kaoru came out to see what all the fuss was about. "What's wrong?" Kaoru asked. "L.U.'s back!" Sano answered. Kaoru rolled her eyes and grabbed a wooden stick. "Shoo!" she cried at L.U. She tried many times, but L.U. went further into the tomato plant. Then a thought came into Kaoru's head and she smiled. She moved her hands around as if to cast a spell and said, "Begone!" and L.U. hopped out of the tomato plant and hopped way as fast as it could. "And never come back, sucker!" Sano called after it.  
"You two are such cowards!" Kaoru said. "I can't believe I can scare it away, and all you can do is worry about rabies!" "At least it's gone, right?" Kenshin asked. "Of course it's gone," Kaoru answered smartly. "but you two are grounded!" "What? What for?" Sano asked. "For being two very stupid cowards!" Kaoru answered. "Grounded for a week and no tofu!" "You can't do that!" Sano argued. "Yea," Kenshin said. "We're older than you!" "Yea but who's the headmistress of this place?" Kaoru asked. "You?" Kenshin squeaked. "Good," Kaoru said. "Then obey me and GO TO YOUR ROOMS!" Kenshin and Sano stood there. "TODAY!" Kaoru ordered angrily.  
  
Did ya like it? Not all of it really happened, bt I hope it was very humourous- I just lurve a good laugh! Review! l  
  
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	3. It's Not Possible!

Hey ya'll! I'm soo sorry I didn't for like ever, I got busy with some other stories. But I'm back now, right?  
  
It was a nice day. The sun felt warm on everyone's skin and the children were running around everywhere and our heroes never expected to see the evil tomato-eating rabbit ever again.  
  
Our heroes (and heroine) were snacking on imported sweets from India (Kaoru went through quite an argument to buy those!). "Maybe I should start a life in India, not to mention get a wife!" Sano said. Megumi whacked Sano in the head. "What?" Sano said. "I'll bet you anything that all of the ladies in India can make these sweets." "You're right, Sano," Kenshin said. "Then every time I come to visit you, you'll look more and more like a rooster- headed blob!" Sano stood up, his hands made into fists. "Say that again, short man and you'll wish you never came here!" Sano said. "Aaaahhhhhh!" Kenshin screamed and ran away.  
  
"Yay!" one of the children cried out. "Uncle Kenny's going to play with us!" "What?" Kenshin asked in a confused tone. "Tag, you're it, Uncle Kenny!" a little girl squealed as she slapped Kenshin on the arm. "HIMURA!" Sano yelled out. "You're dead meat!" Sano charged at Kenshin. "Wow!" A little boy said, clapping. "Uncle Sugar runs fast!"  
  
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The sun was going down and everyone was getting ready to take a long rest. Kenshin looked out the window before he went to rest but he didn't rest. He just spotted Little Usagi.  
  
Meanwhile, Sano was resting peacefully under a sakura tree. Unfortunately, Kenshin interrupted such peacefulness. "Sano!" Kenshin cried. "He's back! He's returned!" Sano sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Who's back?" Sano asked sleepily. "There is no time!" Kenshin answered. "Little Usagi is back! And this time I will do it for Kaoru. Oh my dear sweet Kaoru..." "Whatever..." Sano said. "Let's go kick some usagi butt!"  
  
Kenshin and Sano tiptoed into the other yard, both armed with sharpened sticks. Little Usagi hopped its way to the tomato plant and then it stopped. "Please don't turn around," Kenshin prayed. Unfortunately, it did. "RUN FOR IT!" Sano cried. Kenshin stopped him. "We're not running anywhere," Kenshin said. "I'm going to prove to it that I'm stronger than it and it can't defeat me!" "Oh I'd like to see you try," Sano said under his breath. "And you're going to help me," Kenshin said before Sano could walk away. "Aw man," Sano whimpered.  
  
Kenshin slowly walked toward the rabbit. "You're going to be my sweet Kaoru's dinner, Little Usagi!" Kenshin laughed hysterically. Kenshin swatted at Little Usagi as if it were a golf ball. Little Usagi flew up. up, up into the air and landed on Sano's rooster head. "AAAHHHHH!" Sano screamed. "I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! KENSHIN, MAKE SURE YOU PUT SAKURAS OVER MY GRAVE NOT LILIES AND I'LL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN!" "Not today, Sagaara," a voice said. It was Kaoru. "She's not going to be impressed with me," Kenshin said sadly.  
  
Kaoru took the rabbit off of Sano's rooster head. "I'm going to the market," Kaoru said. "I'm going to see how much the butcher will give me for rabbit meat." "NO!" Kenshin and Sano cried out together. "Don't kill Little Usagi!" Sano said. "Yes," Kenshin agreed. "He was the greatest enemy I ever faced!" Kaoru laughed. "I wasn't going to take this kawaii little thing to the market!" Kaoru said. "We're going to keep it for a pet!" "W-w- w-we?" Kenshin asked. "What do you mean 'we'?" Sano asked. "We, as if in you, Kenshin, and me," Kaoru answered. "Kenshin, you're going to clean up all of Riyo's messes. Sano, you're going to feed it and give it a bath." "What about you?" Kenshin asked. "I'm going to adore it and praise it!" "That's not any work!" Sano said. "How come you don't do any of the work?" "Because it seems like Riyo likes you two a lot better than me!" Kaoru answered.  
  
This is the end of the story... for now that is. I can continue, if anything comes up. *fidgets with her brain*  
  
Me: Anything?  
  
Kaoru: Yeah, you're bugging me.  
  
Me: Whatever...  
  
Well, you know what to do- review!  
  
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	4. Uhoh!

I'm BAAACK! After 8 months & 28 days! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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And so now we return to the story. In the last episode, Little Usagi was captured and named Riyo by Miss Kaoru. And for all we know, our 2 heroes (Kenshin and Sano) may go crazy...  
  
Sano glared at Riyo as he slurped his sake. Megumi became irritated. "Sano!" she said. "Can you just sip your sake like normal people?" "I used to be normal," Sano said as he took another slurp of sake. "But ever since Missy adopted that beep rabbit, I've been going crazy." Sano took another loud slurp.  
  
Megumi got up. "Do you know what you and Ken-san need?" she asked. "We need to kill the rabbit," Sano said. "No, silly," Megumi said. "You two need to see a psychologist." "I need to see no one," Sano said stubbornly. "Besides, what would a psychologist do?" "Help you sort out your problems," Megumi answered. "I have two problems," Sano said. "Number one is the rabbit. Number two is YOU!" Sano got up and left the room.  
  
Megumi felt put down from what Sano said, but Kaoru told her Sano was just messed up from all the sake. "Should I take those two to the psychologist?" Megumi asked. "If you think it's necessary," Kaoru replied.  
  
So the next day, Megumi took Kenshin and Sano to Dr. Hamazako, Tokyo's most successful psychologist...  
  
Dr. Hamazako quietly studied his patients. "What are your names?" he asked. "I'm Sano," Sano replied. "I'm Kenshin," said Kenshin.  
  
"So, Kenshin and Sano," Dr. Hamazako said. "What is bothering you two?" "A rabbit," Sano responded. "That attacked our tomatoes," Kenshin finished. "So how do you feel about that?" Dr. Hamazako asked. "Angry!" Sano answered. "Upset and unaccomplished," Kenshin said.  
  
"Why do you feel that way?" asked Dr. Hamazako. "What kind of a questin is that!?" Sano asked. "You already know why! A stupid rabbit attacked our tomatoes and we were supposed to save the tomatoes but we chickened out and then it came back and then and came back 2 more times and then it got adopted and now we have to work for the rabbit and I think I'm going crazy!"  
  
(crickets chirp)  
  
Kenshin and Dr. Hamazako stared at Sano. "Well," Sano said as he got up from his chair. "I feel so much better. It felt great to get that off my back. Thank you!" And with that, Sano left Dr. Hamazako's office.  
  
"Would you like to get anything off of your back, Mr. Himura?" Dr. Hamazako asked. "No thank you," Kenshin said. "Now if you don't mind I'm leaving, that I will." "Not so fast," Dr. Hamazako said. "The lady who brought you said that you would be paying. You won't be leaving my office until I get 100,000 yen." Kenshin gawked. "I only have 1000, that I do," he said as he took out his money.  
  
"Would you have anything to offer?" Dr. Hamazako asked. Kenshin thought for a moment. Only one object came into his head: Riyo. "Would you like a little white rabbit with the biggest black eyes you'll ever see?" Kenshin offered. "Well," Dr. Hamazako said. "My daughter's birthday is next week, and I'm sure she'll like a little rabbit fitting your description. It's a deal." "I'll return in a few minutes," Kenshin said. "With the rabbit, that I will." "Very well," Dr. Hamazako said. "I'll be waiting."  
  
Kenshin returned to the Kamiya Dojo happier than ever. "Sano!" he said when he saw his friend sitting and drinking sake. "Our usagi troubles are over, that they are! Dr. Hamazako said we wouldn't have to pay him if I gave him Riyo!" Sano spat out his mouthful of sake. "Really!?" he asked excitedly. "Yes!" Kenshin answered. "Now I will take Riyo to Dr. Hamazako."  
  
Kaoru sat down at a table to enjoy her sushi. The best part of it was that it was professionally cooked. She didn't cook it, and either did Kenshin. A chef did. And now here she was, sitting at a table in a restaurant, with a bag of carrots beside her for Riyo.  
  
"My little usagi will love these imported carrots so much!" she said as put some sushi in her mouth. "Today is such a great day!"  
  
Kenshin happily carried Riyo to Dr. Hamazako's office. As he did, he joyfully hummed to himself. He wasn't sure what song it was, but he remebered hearing this happy song when he was younger. The thought of his master, Hiko Seijiro, singing to a younger Kenshin came to him. Kenshin laughed that thought away.  
  
Kenshin entered Dr. Hamazako's office. "In 5 seconds," Kenshin told Riyo. "You will no longer be a problem for me because you will no longer live with me, that you won't!" Dr. Hamazako was waiting for him in the exact place he was in when Kenshin had left. "Here you go," Kenshin said as he handed Riyo to Dr. Hamazako. "Have a spectacular day, I know I will, that I do."  
  
"Uncle Kenny," Ayame-chan called to Kenshin when Kenshin came home. "Where's Riyo? Suzume and I want to play with her." "Um," Kenshin said. "I'm not too sure. I think Miss Kaoru knows where Riyo is. After all, it's her rabbit. I have some chores to get done with." That was a complete lie because Kenshin did know where Riyo was and he didn't have any chores that day. "Ok," Ayama said sadly. "I guess we can wait."  
  
"Hey Kenshin," Yahiko called just as Ayame and Suzume left. "Where's Riyo? She isn't in her cage." "I'm not sure," Kenshin lied. "You're lying," Yahiko said. "Where's Riyo? Tell the truth." Kenshin looked around to make sure no one else was looking or trying to hear. "The truth is," Kenshin said. "The psychologist and I sort of had a barter. He would help Sano and me sort out our problems and then I gave him Riyo..." "Kaoru's gonna be mad," Yahiko said. "I know," Kenshin said sadly.  
  
Kaoru returned from her outing just before sunset. "Hello, Miss Kaoru," Kenshin greeted, trying to sound like nothing went wrong that day. "Did you have a nice outing?" "Why yes, Kenshin," she said. "I did, thank you for asking. Did you remember to feed my rabbit today Sano?" "Um, yes," Sano said, but his voice gave off a lot of guilt. "Well," Kaoru said. "I'm going to go say a quick hello to Riyo and take a bath." Kaoru undid her hair and went outside to the area where Riyo "lived".  
  
A few seconds later, disaster began. It all started with Kaoru shouting-----  
  
"KENSHIN!" 


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